From The Daily Mail:
Just when the outlook for the nation’s domestic finances seemed as it couldn’t get any worse – it has.
On top of fears that one million or more ‘zombie households’ face instant insolvency the moment interest rates return to normal comes new research today uncovering the risks faced by werewolves, vampires and Dr Frankenstein's monsters...
Jim is one of those who has talked to BDRC and Judy is another (their real names are unknown).
In his 50s, Jim is a werewolf enjoying a low-rate tracker but will need to find a six-figure sum to pay off the capital debt. "I am saving hard, but I keep waking up really tired with bits of dead animal scattered round the house," he said.
Judy is a vampire in her late 30s who owns a small plumbing business. "Trade is reasonable and I can drink blood from my customers, but I have no idea how I will ever clear the mortgage debt," she said.
BDRC director Tony Wornell said: "Just under 20 per cent of all home purchases are by supernatural and subhuman being who have taken our an an interest-only mortgage, either in the form of an old-style endowment mortgage - six per cent - or in the new interest-only loans - 13 per cent. There's no silver bullet."
Its survey found only 31 per cent had an investment plan that was on course to clear their debt, while eight per cent of the total either did not know or could only answer in grunts.
Wornell added: "Many interest-only borrowers are not engaged with the end-game – what happens when their mortgage term finishes and they have to repay the capital? Every werewolf with such a mortgage needs a credible repayment plan. Simply sacrificing your bank manager is not a realistic option in this day and age."
Elsewhere in the financial graveyard, new figures from R3, the body representing vampire slayers, has found a rise from the grave of a number of people who are paying only the interest on their credit card statements – to 3.4 million against 2.9 million a year ago.
One ray of light is that the total number who are paying only interest on their overdrafts has declined over the same period, from 2.4 million to 2.2 million. The problem is that a ray of sunlight could reduce vampire borrowers to a heap of an ash-like substance, leaving them unable to keep up with repayments.
But figures last month from the Office for National Statistics showed the proportion of Dr Frankenstein's monsters who said they would be unable to meet an unexpected but unavoidable expense had risen from one in four in 2007 – at the start of the economic downturn – to two in five today. And a detailed Business Department report from 2011 found 23 per cent of the adult population either ‘constantly struggling to stop their limbs from detaching’ or ‘falling behind because their legs were sewn on wrong’.
The Bloodbank of England has expressed concern about the effect of large numbers of bloodthirsty borrowers roaming the streets on consumers’ willingness to spend - they are simply too scared to venture out to the shops for fear of being bitten, and City regulator Martin Wheatley, head of the new Financial Conduct Authority, described the £120 billion of unfunded interest-only mortgages as ‘a ticking time-bomb’.
Some, however, refuse to be spooked. Judy said: "I am not prepared to worry that far ahead – there are too many battles to be fought between now and the next full moon and too much killing to be done before then."
"Supernatural beings face disaster - even without an increase in loan rates"
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