Mummy says: "Family is being held to ransom over Santa dispute"

From the BBC:

The family is being "held to ransom by little Billy" due to the dispute over the non-appearance of Santa in the shopping centre in January, Mummy has said.

Mummy called for an end to all public tantrums following revelations that Santa will not appear again for another eleven months - and that includes quiet sulking - following a fifth minute of whining in the shopping centre.

It's not fair

Little Billy spat out his dummy, kicked his sister Siobhan on the shin and shouted at Mummy in the food court. Daddy threatened to take everybody straight home in response.

Bending down to pram level and speaking firmly, Mummy said: "It's not acceptable that those who say they want to see Santa again - in January - are actually doing it by showing us all up in public and ruining our little family outing. It's disgraceful, frankly."

I hate you

Mummy described the continuing bad behaviour as "profoundly depressing" and said she was "fully supportive of the great efforts which Daddy is taking to crack down robustly on those who continue to behave like a spoiled brat". She called for Billy to "come off it" in order to allow her to pop into Clark's to see if she can find some new school shoes for Siobhan.

"We will not be able to get a solution while the family is being held to ransom," she said.

I wish I'd never been born

Three family members have been kicked or shouted at and eight passers-by were on the point of saying something, bringing the total number of mildly irrirated adults since the Santa protests began to 104.

Billy has been told off for threatening to get out of the pram and is due to be sent to the naughty step as soon as the family gets home. Siobhan has so far resisted the temptation to ask when the Easter Bunny will be coming.