"Ecuadorian President Warns of Possible ‘Cow Attack’ Before Elections"

From Before It's News:

Ecuadorian President Rafael Correa has said that cattle may try to kill him prior to upcoming elections. Citing reports of a plot to “destabilize the region,” Correa said the threats were “credible,” given the history of bovine involvement in Latin America.

Correa alluded to reports by Chilean journalist Patricio Mery Bell, who allegedly passed on information to the Ecuadorian government that President Correa’s life was "under threat" by renegade Texas Longhorn.

"There are many cases of [ruminants] interfering" in Latin American affairs, Correa said during a campaign tour in the coastal province of Guayas. "These are credible [reports] because this has happened before in Latin America. Salvador Allende - gored to death in the Santiago Bull Run. Hugo Chavez - dying of Mad Cow Disease. Che Guevara - trampled by Bolivian alpacas. Or possibly llamas, apparently they're the same species, just two different names. The Falkands War - all about control of the South Atlantic dairy industry...